Christian Soro

Sun, 05 May 2002 05:50:52 GMT

They always said that lonesome town was where I'd spend my days...

I've finally realized how much I don't want to live here anymore. I thought about it a bit back in February or so.. but I didn't do anything about it. Yesterday I applied to three Ontario universities: Toronto (my first choice.. *sigh*) Guelph (I'm not too sure why, oh well, keep my options open) and Carleton (you get to apply to 3 universities for $85, so I had to fill up that last spot, hehe). I'm so psyched. I hope I get it. It would rule to live in the arragement I chose at UofT; I'd live in a suite with 3 or 4 other people, everyone has their own bedrooms, and theres 2 bathrooms and one common room. That sounds so good. It would shove me away from the hermit life that I would probably adopt if I were in an individual dorm room. Heh. Tuition at UofT is the same (or cheaper?) than it is here. And Rez is only like $4000 (sans mealplan, *thumbs up*). Ohhh.. I'm so giddy. Like a little school girl.

So anywho. Now I actually have a reason to get off my duff and get a job. And soon! Excluding food for the year, I would need to earn $6000 for Toronto this summer. Then I could get a part time job during the year to pay food and fun and other stuff.

Paintball tomorrow! I've never been before. It's gonna rule. There's like 20 of us going. Do they give you.. uh.. "protection" for "down there"? Like.. built into the overalls that they supply you with? That's the only place I would hate to get hit. I have absolutely no idea how everything works, other than that they supply you with gun and ammo, and I hope something to wear over your clothes.

They always said that lonesome town would finally get to me...

bling bling

Mon, 29 Apr 2002 18:37:11 GMT

I needs a job.

My god. I have 4 months of holiday. If I got a full time job, paying 12 or 13 dollars an hour (which might be available at the hospital, I'll have to go check their postings soon.) If I did that, I would make like ... $8 000 this summer. Holy Crap. Some friends of mine in Calgary and Winnipeg have jobs lined up to make them over $30 000 over the summer. Kerazy.

But in the meantime.. I am fascinated with my own little discovery regarding winamp (which is probably like "Step One when using winamp" but I don't care. I don't know how I overlooked this function before.) So, I put the three winamp windows in their little bar-form, and then strung them along the bottom of my screen to make my own little winamp-bar. It's quite useful, and not as gaudy then the giant, obtrusive winamp boxes. *sigh* Simple pleasures for simple minds.

Oh well. That is all.

hella bad

Thu, 25 Apr 2002 17:57:47 GMT

You know, when you're driving, and you're listening to music, and the beat matches perfectly with your turn signal. ... And then you realize that it's a bit off, but you maintain the false perfection in your head thinking "oh, it will get back on track soon". And then it all goes to hell, and the two don't mesh at all. They even work against each other and just make it frustrating. And then eventually you hear it coming back around and it almost matches back up, but never quite does?

Yeah. That was finals for me. I had my last one today. I've already gotten some grades back: A- in physics, B+ in biology. Decent marks, but I'm not impressed. I'm a little sad actually. Calculus, English, and Chemistry are still unknown. I think I'm more sad because a female friend of mine is really sad about her marks. It's an overall theme of depression among all of us; but, hey, I guess that's typical of university students. *shrug*

No job yet. No anything. I was school, and school ended. Now what am I? This feeling was bearable when dished out in 2-month servings, but now it's 4. ..4. All I am now is tired.

Holy fuck does writing in this journal ever make me depressed! I swear I was happy before I started writing. Ahh.. now I'm happy again. Yes.. ...yes I am.

..?

<:-D~

Mon, 08 Apr 2002 09:14:38 GMT

Why does audiogalaxy always start not-working 30 seconds after I go to their site? Really. This has happened a dozen times now. And now I'm going to forget what song it is I wanted to download. I already forgot.

Why am I up so early, you ask? I'm not. I'm up so late. I have a bio lab test ("bell ringer") on Tuesday, and I am uber-unprepared.

At Last. That was the song. By... Ella Fitzgerald?

I found out today that my essay that I thought was due on Tuesday is definately due next Tuesday. I won't leave it til then though (yeah, right) because I have exams Wed/Thurs/Fri next week. Yipes. I have two other tests this week (Wednesday). Hrm :(

My biggest fear (besides talking in my sleep [which I do]) is that there will be some ultimate disaster on Earth, and when life begins again people will find records of our current online conversations and re-form a language out of that. And they will make emoticons {ie. :) :( :|} formal, standard English. This is what I think of to keep my mind off of necessary school-work.

Goodnicht.

sucked

Sat, 06 Apr 2002 11:23:49 GMT

Pretty piddly turn out for a end-of-the-year social. Wasn't as much fun as I was expecting. Wel.. I guess it coulnd't have been that bad cause i managed to stay out til 5:00am (which is reaaly reaaly not like me0. The social was in the cafeteria. The cafeteria! What a ahorrible place for it. THey usually host them in this big empty room that kids use to study and stuff. OH well. HTe monitor'shurting my eyes. Is tha tpossible? when i looked away it's fine, but then i looked back and it hurts.

GOodnight.

Sat, 06 Apr 2002 01:18:46 GMT

Here's a question for you. There is an event hosted by your university/school/company/anyone where there is dancing or drinking or whatever. Where everyone is invited and there is probably a cover charge. What is this type of event called?

People around here call them socials. A friend of mine in Calgary calls them cabarets. *snicker*. What do you call them?

Regardless of what they're called, I best be heading out soon for the one tonight. Bye.

Jesus Christ v2.0

Sun, 31 Mar 2002 07:31:18 GMT

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter is playing at a little theater here next month. About three weeks from now. The first Saturday of exams. I'm very much looking forward to it. I saw a trailer for it, and it kinda turned me off (not because it's low quality filming or anything --I tend to be a fan of that-- but because it seems like low quality writing, or something. I just feel bad about it.) And it looks like it is going to just be a joke, to entertain. I thought it would have substance. But who knows, I haven't seen it yet.

What is with people having online boyfriends/girlfriends. I talked to two people tonight who said they are in that type of relationship. One girl's e-boyfriend just flew in from Australia and is heading back in a week. Another guy has been e-dating (if that would be the right term) a girl who lives in L.A. I don't trust the second one. It is probably some 37-year old man, not a 16-year old girl. But, yeah. That's me. I don't trust people. I've had issues with trust since... I don't know if I'd call her an ex-girlfriend or just a friend. We were pretty much dating, but neither of us ever said we were. In fact we said that we weren't. ...anyhoo

And can you say you are boyfriend&girlfriend if you've never met. I don't understand how that would work. Not that I'm knocking it, I guess, since I've never tried it. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Man, I'm tired. Kyle left this afternoon. Sucks. We pretty much just sat around and talked a lot. Anyways, I should get to sleep. G'nite.

!*#~!!!

Sat, 30 Mar 2002 10:22:53 GMT

Ohhh~~!!! My boy Kyle came and visited me today. We were THE BEST friends back in the day. He moved to Toronto back in grade 8. :/

Now, there isn't much to do in this city compared to Toronto -- the Library is the only happening spot, and it closes at 9:00 (I kid) -- but we had one hell of a time. Words can't even describe it. I just want to yell monosyllables into my computer screen and have the message conveyed like that.

My God. He knows me so well. Things haven't changed at all. We went to the clubs and did our old tag-team pickup lines/lies. We both started up on it with the very first girl we saw, and we broke out laughing before we could get very far. The girl thought we were "rude," but I talked it over with her after. It was all good.

He's stayin the night (or two) here. Man, it's gonna be some fun stuff tomorrow.

Happy Good Friday

Fri, 29 Mar 2002 07:16:38 GMT

What kind of drunk are you?

Apparently when I'm at the height of drunken-ness, I think that I know karate.

Farewell to the bus boy

Fri, 29 Mar 2002 05:48:05 GMT

I have always been a bus boy. Sometimes for necessity, other times by choice. I like the bus. The waiting, the indirect path to your destination. It gives me time to read.

[Enter: Graduated Licensing]

That's right. My province (Manitoba) is initiating a new process for getting your driver's license. Yes, you write the test, and yes you still do the road test blah blah blah. But now there is a three-year (three? i think so. i could be wrong) mandatory waiting period between getting your learner's and your actual drivers license. That's insane. Today was the last day for the old-school system; after today anyone getting their learner's is bound by the new rules.

So I went and wrote my test this morning. I would have been comfortable not getting a license, ...ever. But, well, I'm sure I will change my mind soon enough, and wish that I had gotten it under the old laws. So I got it today. I paid for it, in fact, at 4:23pm -- with 7 minutes remaining under the old-school rules. (Friday/Monday are Easter holidays, and the new regulations kick in on April 1st).

ANYWHO. I read the little driver book on my way into town this morning. That's it. 15 minutes of learning everything about driving (I didn't take driver's ed or anything in highschool). You are allowed 6 wrong answers on the test, and I had 0. I really don't know how someone could fail.

Q. Someone is trying to pass you. What do you do?
...
c) Do what you see other people doing.
d) Speed up and veer sharply to the left to prevent them from passing you.

That's right. You're allowed to get 6 wrong. The overweight man marking my test commented that I, and I quote, "must have read the book real good". OMG learn English. To which I replied "No, it's just that I'm NOT A MORON [without the caps]." The 30-ish-year-old woman beside me, who just failed the test, looked like she was going to kill me.

So now I have my learner's. Soon I will have my real license. And I will be driving and polluting like nobody's business. Of course, I don't HAVE to drive, but... I will. I will become lazy and less able to manage my time properly. All because I have my learner's. All because of this new law. That's right, I'll blame anyone but myself.

ksubect

Sun, 24 Mar 2002 08:40:49 GMT

ihslotook atj he skboard when aihtype but ahte somethi sin my eye,.pii3

ahahaahhha. eh whent otj ht f riends nad had a fucin BLATAS AND THE GIRRLS WERE SAEWSOEM. oah i hadnt ahad ushch a teim in alike oha os lnggn .FUck ai hate i fnpeopl thiak theyi canb druive drukk andas ooi ahf ot conveice the sitk tjle m tdruive i taxi acn i tlive otu of town ahaahahaahgaewhaj ah im have too go sto sleep soon abut theis turtles aua fuck

ehii lsvoe utoi aelll

I have grey hair

Sat, 23 Mar 2002 23:32:26 GMT

Seriously. I am betting that in a few years it will be noticabley grey. Right now there's just the odd strand here and there. And its not just grey, though, its tough and wirey too. Old man hair.

Chem test last night. I always complain that they are scheduled for Friday nights, but being that I also always procrastinate and start studying Friday mornings, it ends up working out for me. I feel pretty good about this one, but I don't want to jinx it. I guess I'll find out on Monday.

This coming week: Chem lab test, Bio test, Bio lab test, Essay, Calc test, me losing my insanity, Physics test.

I have no idea what to major/minor in. I'm sure I've complained about this previously in my journal, but, meh. I wish someone would just spin a wheel and have that decide what I take. As long as Math Major isnt on that wheel. I would be fine with that. I hate decisions. I get to worked up and frustrated over them. Maybe that's why I have grey hair.

sober ramblings

Sun, 10 Mar 2002 05:54:59 GMT

It's been so long. So long. I want to drink. I want to do more than just drink. I want to go on a bender to end all benders. I haven't drank since... I don't even remember. Gah. If I were to say that to my friends, oh my, I would be thrown out of the group. Most of them are very much anti-drinking.

*Whimper*

Anywho. Yeah. I got raped up the ass on Thursday. It came in the form of a calculus midterm, and it lasted 2 hours and 5 minutes. The bestest part was that over 30 minutes into the test, and after 30 minutes of me busting my ass to figure out how to do the first question, the prof came in and was like "whoops, there's a mistake in #1, that should read...".

There's only like a month left of classes. Wow. That's pretty short. I wish I could think of something clever to do with my time over the summer. As it stands, I am either going to take some spring/summer classes, or get a job (or both). Sounds like fun, no?

I want booze.

ANTHRAX ALERT (aka "belated valentines day")

Sun, 03 Mar 2002 02:09:56 GMT

Do envelopes with no return address written on them get delivered? You'd think that in light of recent events, there would be uber-security around that. Well, you'd be wrong. But, I guess in my case, it's for the better. I got an anonymous valentine in the mail yesterday. All the envolope had was my info, a stamp, and some printed-on stuff about www.canadapost.com and a string of numbers.

It was a Hello Kitty valentine. On the back there was a "Color the even-numbered shapes to make a path to Spottie Dottie" game, but the hearts/circles were coloured in already, and not just the even-numbered ones as the instructions dictated. Addressed to me, and left unsigned. It's driving me crazy.

15 minutes just passed without me noticing. I was busy trying to think who this is from.

I also got a scarf and a clock in the mail. The scarf is fleece and comfy and I want to fall asleep with it touching my face, and the clock is small (small) and is suctioned to my computer tower at the moment. I know who sent those.

I prefer the valentine :/

remind me why I care

Sun, 24 Feb 2002 09:12:27 GMT

The physics exam on wednesday went alright (only because I crammed a lot the night before.) In fact, I don't think I remember studying at all; I barely remember writing the test, only talking about it outside the room afterwards. *shakes his head in disgust*. Chem exam was last night (friday), and well, let's just say that I took an ass raping. I didn't start studying until noon the day of the test, and I studied with friends on and off until I went to write it.

I actually fell asleep during the exam. For about 20 minutes. I didn't get much sleep the night before, and I just couldn't help it. As I was writing down answers, I couldn't even remember what the question asked. After I woke up, I was good and refreshed, though I had already done 60% of the marks on the test, and had no time to go back and check my results. Why do I do that to myself. I should study earlier. Then I might actually remember stuff.

I suppose the good news is that I get to find out how poorly I did as early as Monday morning. Such great news, eh? And then I get to punch myself in the throat for doing so badly (even if I don't get a bad grade [which I will], I'd consider leaving everything until after the last minute 'doing badly'). :(

Yeah. So I came home at about 11pm after wasting time with my friends (who are in arts classes). I don't understand how they can put up with me. All I do is complain about my academic life when I'm around them. The fact that they have it so much easier doesn't help.

I need some new music to listen to. Anyone who is reading this, please give me some ideas of what I could download. Right now my playlist is really starting to irritate me. I will listen to anything that anyone suggests, the only exception is that I can reject it if I have heard of the group/person before (just so I don't get stuck with a lot of britney and christina). Seriously. Anything. Here is your chance to make me listen to a recording of your brothers punk garage band, or tibetan monk chanting, or your favorite song. I need music suggestions.

Can't my friends just all get along?

Thu, 21 Feb 2002 23:41:29 GMT

Haha. I thought this was funny. It's a screenshot from my 'Friends' page.

I noticed only after uploading it that it was kinda small and blurry. I will explain. The top post there (I'm sure you can read the large letters). And then the post beneath it is titled "FOUR MORE QUIZZES!!!!!!(with a path to *millions* more).

bling bling

Thu, 21 Feb 2002 09:31:11 GMT

My scholarships I received from my university have already paid for all of my courses, textbooks, fees, etc. Yet, for some reason, they feel the need to give me more money. Not that I'm complaining, hehe. I got a letter in the mail the other day saying that they are crediting my account with another $300. That puts my total scholarship amount at more than $500 of what I needed for a full year of university. I feel so happy.

I am hoping to get a job as a marker for one or two classes next year. They get paid decently, it's not much work, and it will help me keep on top of some first year material if I'm forced to mark a lot of assignments, labs, etc. I'm already starting to dread the MCAT, because in 2 years I will have to relearn all of the first year stuff that I have already begun to forget.

Yeah. I've been crazy busy with midterms lately. Physics was alright today (only because I studied with people for about 15 hours yesterday.) Calc is coming up. Chem on Friday night. I got 75% on the bio midterm :(. It's not good, but, it's recoverable from. Another essay due on tuesday. Scary scary lots of work.

I want to be an arts student. I began my first essay for my English class the day that it was due. I didn't spend a lot of time on it. It was a piece of shit, but I somehow got a B+. She even commented on the fact that it was horrible. There were so many things that she found wrong with it, and I still got a B+. I honestly don't know how someone could get a C or less in that class. Arts 4 Life.

Anywho, its 3:30am. I should get to bed.

"Why haven't they invented this" part 103

Mon, 18 Feb 2002 10:01:35 GMT

I want to play this game so badly, now that I've thought of it. Okay. Here's how it would work.

There would be a hundred or so 'treasures' (for lack of a better term) hidden around the country. And people could go out and buy some little device that maybe gives hints as to where one of these caches is hidden, or maybe is like a cheap global positioning device, or something clever like that. Maybe the people would have to watch a tv show to get some kind of hint, too. Yeah. That would work.

Anywho. One of the locations would have the 'grand prize' of $100000 or something. The others would have decent prizes. The whole idea is, make it a game show where every citizen of a country could be a contestant. Or maybe the whole world. Or, a few countries. Encourage international tourism, etc. My description of this sucks, but it is so freakin' awesome how I have it in my head right now.

I got the idea (ok, ok, "stole" the idea) from geocaching.com. Except, their version sucks, and you have to have a $100 - $2000+ GPS system. If only I had billions of dollars to get this off the ground. This could be the next big thing to sweep the world. Move over Ricky Martin and 'the pet rock'.

If only...

Sun, 17 Feb 2002 01:32:11 GMT

Made by: gothichic666 and ecology

The five possibilities were: Japanese, Italian, Irish (*hiccup*), African, and American (thank god I'm not American I"M JUST KIDDING PLEASE DON'T BOMB ME)

ur a dyke LOL :_(

Sat, 16 Feb 2002 09:24:36 GMT

Okay. This is probably normal, but I will explain. When I write an essay, I put in stupid little reminders, and place-holders, so that I can finish off a current train of thought, and then come back to something else later and not forget. Or, to take up space so I can judge how long my work is going to be. I also print off two or three copies as I go because it helps me catch mistakes and whatnot. All is fine and good.

Until today. I was cleaning out my clipboard today and trying to organize my notes (which were all previously in one giant pile [both this terms and lasts]). And what do I find? That's right. My essay that was due last week. The essay I thought I handed in last week. The good copy.

The only copy that I didn't find? Well, let's just say that it will be interesting when I get it back. I wrote about a topic in John Updike's 'A&P'. (And it should be noted that my english class is so very very full of lesbians). My place-holder title on this garbage essay was "Up-dyke it out: 2k2". Childish, maybe. Stupid, for sure.

All I can do now is either laugh, or cry. And I will choose to laugh... having cried myself out about 2 hours ago.

GIVE ME BACK MY MEDAL YOU DIRTY RUSSIAN THIEFS.

Fri, 15 Feb 2002 00:50:51 GMT

I haven't seen footage of the whole figure skating event, so I don't see it as my place to have an opinion. The part that bothers me, is that other Canadian people I know say things like "I didn't see the competition, but we should be given the gold medal fair and square," and then other Canadians join in a support the arguement.

Personally, I don't care. I don't think that silver/gold medal is ever going to be within viewing distance of myself. It isn't going to hang on my wall, or around my neck. Give it up, people.

I saw footage of some random Russian street-people being asked about the situation, and one lady replied "I know 100% that Russia did better in that event. ...Even though I didn't see it." And so many people get mad at that statement. WTF. There is definately something to be said for patriotism.

And basically, that is that patriotism is the root of all evil.

I Hate University (or, Why Am I Such A Failure part 2)

Tue, 12 Feb 2002 06:37:53 GMT

Okay. This doesn't really qualify as a 'personal journal' entry, but, meh. For anyone in highschool who is considering going to university, I am going to pass along some warnings. These warnings were given to me, and I ignored them, and now I want to break stuff.

Number One. For the most part, your marks *will* drop. I know of only two people who managed to stay in their range of grades, and even they fell. A lot of people are used to getting grades of 90% or 95%+ in all of their highschool classes. My highschool chem teacher told us (as he does to his gr 12 classes every year) that our marks would drop by around 30% in first-year university. He gave us the statistics of a number of students who went on from our highschool. "No. That won't be me. I'm smart. I'll get 95 in everything". Things all change when you find out 75% of the class just failed the first midterm. Oh how the mighty fall. People at the top, who have never failed a test before, are the hardest hit.

Number Two. PEOPLE LIE TO YOU LIKE DIRTY BASTARDS. This was also told to me before I entered. I assumed the girl telling me was just a bitch and that nobody liked her. Some of my semi-close friends from highschool lie to people about everything. The idea is that if they tell their peers the wrong info (ie what to study for a test, what you need to bring to a lab, where your class is!) then the liar will come off looking better than them. I guess it is easier to hurt others than it is to help yourself. And since some grades are curved, if you find a way to knock down the mark of th top student, then (depending on how the curve works) the curve will be bigger, and your mark will increase. It's really kind of sad.

Number Three. Hrmm... I need a number three. Oh, I know. DON"T GO TO ANY UNIVERSITY IN MANITOBA, CANADA. There. That's all you need to know.

I'm gonna go break stuff now. I need a girlfriend to take my mind off of these stupid things. Bye.

WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE?

Mon, 11 Feb 2002 09:25:42 GMT

Time for a rampant vent. Pay no attention.

In everything I do. Jesus Christ. I hate my university, and I really need a change for next year. Part of the reason I hate it is because IT FUCKING SUCKS (it was ranked either lowest, or second lowest in a national study). The other part would just be that I've grown up in this little city for 18 years, and I think I've pretty much seen enough. So, I decide that I will go to a different University next year, thinking that everything is still possible. BUT NO. My current university (being the fucktard acceptor that it is) has an application deadline of like August somethingth. I haven't even thought of applying elsewhere yet, because in my mind, I have until July or August. Well. "Application Due Date: Feb 15th" "Application Cut Off: March 1st". WTF. I guess that is normal, for a real university. I am going to end up being stuck here in shitsville for two more years (as I have to take the last two years of my degree at the same university). FUN.

Part of me thinks that I am going to get my degree and then from lack of motivation and realworld success, I will end up working at Walmart or McDonalds BECAUSE IM A FAILURE. And then I think "oh my, so many people are lifers at these kinds of jobs," and I want to run behind the Subway counter and hug the 40 year old lady who is making my Italian Sausage on Rye and tell her that it will all be okay. I could never stand working at a job like that for the rest of my life, but I know in the back of my mind that I will wind up there someday. And there isnt anything wrong with a job like that. Really. But... there is.

And can I even afford to go to a different university? Paying my own food and rent? My parents can't help me. They owe me $300 as it is. My family is the type that occasionally springs for McChicken's. I'm not kidding. I could take out loans, but something about that really scares me. How am I going to pay them back when I will be so busy helping people find the neon mini gloves that are on sale this week.

In conclusion, I wish I had magic powers. I think that would solve everything.

$656 banana bucks

Sun, 10 Feb 2002 23:56:38 GMT

treeloot.com

I'm addicted.

Friends

Sun, 10 Feb 2002 07:37:43 GMT

Gaaahhhhh.

A guy friend of mine keeps talking to me about his girl problems. That's pretty much all he talks about. It's getting annoying. He moved away to college and hasn't really made too many friends there. I tell him before he tries to go out and style the ladies, he needs to get himself a sidekick that they can go out with and scam the ladies together. It's so much easier that way. His reply? "I don't need to go out and hunt for women. And I don't want to find a girl at a bar or club. I don't think I would find someone that's my type in a place like that."

I tell him to go hang out at libraries or juice bars or anywhere. He spends all his time in his dorm room. I don't know what else to tell him. It's so frustrating. I might move out there next year. That would make it easier for me to help. But until then...

I almost care more about my friends than I do about myself. Actually, I do. That's why I get so frustrated and involved, I guess. At the same time, I hate it when they come to me and are always so down on themselves. I'm very bad at cheering people up or comforting/consoling them. That makes so frustrated with myself. I just want to say "get happy" and have them start to smile and be glad. If only that would work.