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Sunday, May 5th, 2002
12:40 am
They always said that lonesome town was where I'd spend my days...

I've finally realized how much I don't want to live here anymore. I thought about it a bit back in February or so.. but I didn't do anything about it. Yesterday I applied to three Ontario universities: Toronto (my first choice.. *sigh*) Guelph (I'm not too sure why, oh well, keep my options open) and Carleton (you get to apply to 3 universities for $85, so I had to fill up that last spot, hehe). I'm so psyched. I hope I get it. It would rule to live in the arragement I chose at UofT; I'd live in a suite with 3 or 4 other people, everyone has their own bedrooms, and theres 2 bathrooms and one common room. That sounds so good. It would shove me away from the hermit life that I would probably adopt if I were in an individual dorm room. Heh. Tuition at UofT is the same (or cheaper?) than it is here. And Rez is only like $4000 (sans mealplan, *thumbs up*). Ohhh.. I'm so giddy. Like a little school girl.

So anywho. Now I actually have a reason to get off my duff and get a job. And soon! Excluding food for the year, I would need to earn $6000 for Toronto this summer. Then I could get a part time job during the year to pay food and fun and other stuff.

Paintball tomorrow! I've never been before. It's gonna rule. There's like 20 of us going. Do they give you.. uh.. "protection" for "down there"? Like.. built into the overalls that they supply you with? That's the only place I would hate to get hit. I have absolutely no idea how everything works, other than that they supply you with gun and ammo, and I hope something to wear over your clothes.

They always said that lonesome town would finally get to me...

current mood: giddy

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Monday, April 29th, 2002
1:30 pm - bling bling
I needs a job.

My god. I have 4 months of holiday. If I got a full time job, paying 12 or 13 dollars an hour (which might be available at the hospital, I'll have to go check their postings soon.) If I did that, I would make like ... $8 000 this summer. Holy Crap. Some friends of mine in Calgary and Winnipeg have jobs lined up to make them over $30 000 over the summer. Kerazy.

But in the meantime.. I am fascinated with my own little discovery regarding winamp (which is probably like "Step One when using winamp" but I don't care. I don't know how I overlooked this function before.) So, I put the three winamp windows in their little bar-form, and then strung them along the bottom of my screen to make my own little winamp-bar. It's quite useful, and not as gaudy then the giant, obtrusive winamp boxes. *sigh* Simple pleasures for simple minds.

Oh well. That is all.

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Thursday, April 25th, 2002
12:59 pm - hella bad
You know, when you're driving, and you're listening to music, and the beat matches perfectly with your turn signal. ... And then you realize that it's a bit off, but you maintain the false perfection in your head thinking "oh, it will get back on track soon". And then it all goes to hell, and the two don't mesh at all. They even work against each other and just make it frustrating. And then eventually you hear it coming back around and it almost matches back up, but never quite does?

Yeah. That was finals for me. I had my last one today. I've already gotten some grades back: A- in physics, B+ in biology. Decent marks, but I'm not impressed. I'm a little sad actually. Calculus, English, and Chemistry are still unknown. I think I'm more sad because a female friend of mine is really sad about her marks. It's an overall theme of depression among all of us; but, hey, I guess that's typical of university students. *shrug*

No job yet. No anything. I was school, and school ended. Now what am I? This feeling was bearable when dished out in 2-month servings, but now it's 4. ..4. All I am now is tired.

Holy fuck does writing in this journal ever make me depressed! I swear I was happy before I started writing. Ahh.. now I'm happy again. Yes.. ...yes I am.

..?

current mood: headache

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Monday, April 8th, 2002
4:18 am - <:-D~
Why does audiogalaxy always start not-working 30 seconds after I go to their site? Really. This has happened a dozen times now. And now I'm going to forget what song it is I wanted to download. I already forgot.

Why am I up so early, you ask? I'm not. I'm up so late. I have a bio lab test ("bell ringer") on Tuesday, and I am uber-unprepared.

At Last. That was the song. By... Ella Fitzgerald?

I found out today that my essay that I thought was due on Tuesday is definately due next Tuesday. I won't leave it til then though (yeah, right) because I have exams Wed/Thurs/Fri next week. Yipes. I have two other tests this week (Wednesday). Hrm :(

My biggest fear (besides talking in my sleep [which I do]) is that there will be some ultimate disaster on Earth, and when life begins again people will find records of our current online conversations and re-form a language out of that. And they will make emoticons {ie. :) :( :|} formal, standard English. This is what I think of to keep my mind off of necessary school-work.

Goodnicht.

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Friday, April 5th, 2002
5:28 am - sucked
Pretty piddly turn out for a end-of-the-year social. Wasn't as much fun as I was expecting. Wel.. I guess it coulnd't have been that bad cause i managed to stay out til 5:00am (which is reaaly reaaly not like me0. The social was in the cafeteria. The cafeteria! What a ahorrible place for it. THey usually host them in this big empty room that kids use to study and stuff. OH well. HTe monitor'shurting my eyes. Is tha tpossible? when i looked away it's fine, but then i looked back and it hurts.

GOodnight.

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Thursday, April 4th, 2002
7:23 pm
Here's a question for you. There is an event hosted by your university/school/company/anyone where there is dancing or drinking or whatever. Where everyone is invited and there is probably a cover charge. What is this type of event called?

People around here call them socials. A friend of mine in Calgary calls them cabarets. *snicker*. What do you call them?

Regardless of what they're called, I best be heading out soon for the one tonight. Bye.

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Sunday, March 31st, 2002
1:33 am - Jesus Christ v2.0
Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter is playing at a little theater here next month. About three weeks from now. The first Saturday of exams. I'm very much looking forward to it. I saw a trailer for it, and it kinda turned me off (not because it's low quality filming or anything --I tend to be a fan of that-- but because it seems like low quality writing, or something. I just feel bad about it.) And it looks like it is going to just be a joke, to entertain. I thought it would have substance. But who knows, I haven't seen it yet.

What is with people having online boyfriends/girlfriends. I talked to two people tonight who said they are in that type of relationship. One girl's e-boyfriend just flew in from Australia and is heading back in a week. Another guy has been e-dating (if that would be the right term) a girl who lives in L.A. I don't trust the second one. It is probably some 37-year old man, not a 16-year old girl. But, yeah. That's me. I don't trust people. I've had issues with trust since... I don't know if I'd call her an ex-girlfriend or just a friend. We were pretty much dating, but neither of us ever said we were. In fact we said that we weren't. ...anyhoo

And can you say you are boyfriend&girlfriend if you've never met. I don't understand how that would work. Not that I'm knocking it, I guess, since I've never tried it. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Man, I'm tired. Kyle left this afternoon. Sucks. We pretty much just sat around and talked a lot. Anyways, I should get to sleep. G'nite.

current mood: meh

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Saturday, March 30th, 2002
4:28 am - !*#~!!!
Ohhh~~!!! My boy Kyle came and visited me today. We were THE BEST friends back in the day. He moved to Toronto back in grade 8. :/

Now, there isn't much to do in this city compared to Toronto -- the Library is the only happening spot, and it closes at 9:00 (I kid) -- but we had one hell of a time. Words can't even describe it. I just want to yell monosyllables into my computer screen and have the message conveyed like that.

My God. He knows me so well. Things haven't changed at all. We went to the clubs and did our old tag-team pickup lines/lies. We both started up on it with the very first girl we saw, and we broke out laughing before we could get very far. The girl thought we were "rude," but I talked it over with her after. It was all good.

He's stayin the night (or two) here. Man, it's gonna be some fun stuff tomorrow.

current mood: worn out

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Friday, March 29th, 2002
1:19 am - Happy Good Friday

What kind of drunk are you?


Apparently when I'm at the height of drunken-ness, I think that I know karate.

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Thursday, March 28th, 2002
11:52 pm - Farewell to the bus boy
I have always been a bus boy. Sometimes for necessity, other times by choice. I like the bus. The waiting, the indirect path to your destination. It gives me time to read.

[Enter: Graduated Licensing]

That's right. My province (Manitoba) is initiating a new process for getting your driver's license. Yes, you write the test, and yes you still do the road test blah blah blah. But now there is a three-year (three? i think so. i could be wrong) mandatory waiting period between getting your learner's and your actual drivers license. That's insane. Today was the last day for the old-school system; after today anyone getting their learner's is bound by the new rules.

So I went and wrote my test this morning. I would have been comfortable not getting a license, ...ever. But, well, I'm sure I will change my mind soon enough, and wish that I had gotten it under the old laws. So I got it today. I paid for it, in fact, at 4:23pm -- with 7 minutes remaining under the old-school rules. (Friday/Monday are Easter holidays, and the new regulations kick in on April 1st).

ANYWHO. I read the little driver book on my way into town this morning. That's it. 15 minutes of learning everything about driving (I didn't take driver's ed or anything in highschool). You are allowed 6 wrong answers on the test, and I had 0. I really don't know how someone could fail.

Q. Someone is trying to pass you. What do you do?
...
c) Do what you see other people doing.
d) Speed up and veer sharply to the left to prevent them from passing you.

That's right. You're allowed to get 6 wrong. The overweight man marking my test commented that I, and I quote, "must have read the book real good". OMG learn English. To which I replied "No, it's just that I'm NOT A MORON [without the caps]." The 30-ish-year-old woman beside me, who just failed the test, looked like she was going to kill me.

So now I have my learner's. Soon I will have my real license. And I will be driving and polluting like nobody's business. Of course, I don't HAVE to drive, but... I will. I will become lazy and less able to manage my time properly. All because I have my learner's. All because of this new law. That's right, I'll blame anyone but myself.

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Sunday, March 24th, 2002
2:34 am - ksubect
ihslotook atj he skboard when aihtype but ahte somethi sin my eye,.pii3






ahahaahhha. eh whent otj ht f riends nad had a fucin BLATAS AND THE GIRRLS WERE SAEWSOEM. oah i hadnt ahad ushch a teim in alike oha os lnggn .FUck ai hate i fnpeopl thiak theyi canb druive drukk andas ooi ahf ot conveice the sitk tjle m tdruive i taxi acn i tlive otu of town ahaahahaahgaewhaj ah im have too go sto sleep soon abut theis turtles aua fuck

ehii lsvoe utoi aelll

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Saturday, March 23rd, 2002
5:20 pm - I have grey hair
Seriously. I am betting that in a few years it will be noticabley grey. Right now there's just the odd strand here and there. And its not just grey, though, its tough and wirey too. Old man hair.

Chem test last night. I always complain that they are scheduled for Friday nights, but being that I also always procrastinate and start studying Friday mornings, it ends up working out for me. I feel pretty good about this one, but I don't want to jinx it. I guess I'll find out on Monday.

This coming week: Chem lab test, Bio test, Bio lab test, Essay, Calc test, me losing my insanity, Physics test.

I have no idea what to major/minor in. I'm sure I've complained about this previously in my journal, but, meh. I wish someone would just spin a wheel and have that decide what I take. As long as Math Major isnt on that wheel. I would be fine with that. I hate decisions. I get to worked up and frustrated over them. Maybe that's why I have grey hair.

current mood: hungry

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Saturday, March 9th, 2002
11:40 pm - sober ramblings
It's been so long. So long. I want to drink. I want to do more than just drink. I want to go on a bender to end all benders. I haven't drank since... I don't even remember. Gah. If I were to say that to my friends, oh my, I would be thrown out of the group. Most of them are very much anti-drinking.

*Whimper*

Anywho. Yeah. I got raped up the ass on Thursday. It came in the form of a calculus midterm, and it lasted 2 hours and 5 minutes. The bestest part was that over 30 minutes into the test, and after 30 minutes of me busting my ass to figure out how to do the first question, the prof came in and was like "whoops, there's a mistake in #1, that should read...".

There's only like a month left of classes. Wow. That's pretty short. I wish I could think of something clever to do with my time over the summer. As it stands, I am either going to take some spring/summer classes, or get a job (or both). Sounds like fun, no?

I want booze.

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Saturday, March 2nd, 2002
8:12 pm - ANTHRAX ALERT (aka "belated valentines day")
Do envelopes with no return address written on them get delivered? You'd think that in light of recent events, there would be uber-security around that. Well, you'd be wrong. But, I guess in my case, it's for the better. I got an anonymous valentine in the mail yesterday. All the envolope had was my info, a stamp, and some printed-on stuff about www.canadapost.com and a string of numbers.

It was a Hello Kitty valentine. On the back there was a "Color the even-numbered shapes to make a path to Spottie Dottie" game, but the hearts/circles were coloured in already, and not just the even-numbered ones as the instructions dictated. Addressed to me, and left unsigned. It's driving me crazy.

15 minutes just passed without me noticing. I was busy trying to think who this is from.

I also got a scarf and a clock in the mail. The scarf is fleece and comfy and I want to fall asleep with it touching my face, and the clock is small (small) and is suctioned to my computer tower at the moment. I know who sent those.

I prefer the valentine :/

current mood: curious

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Sunday, February 24th, 2002
2:53 am - remind me why I care
The physics exam on wednesday went alright (only because I crammed a lot the night before.) In fact, I don't think I remember studying at all; I barely remember writing the test, only talking about it outside the room afterwards. *shakes his head in disgust*. Chem exam was last night (friday), and well, let's just say that I took an ass raping. I didn't start studying until noon the day of the test, and I studied with friends on and off until I went to write it.

I actually fell asleep during the exam. For about 20 minutes. I didn't get much sleep the night before, and I just couldn't help it. As I was writing down answers, I couldn't even remember what the question asked. After I woke up, I was good and refreshed, though I had already done 60% of the marks on the test, and had no time to go back and check my results. Why do I do that to myself. I should study earlier. Then I might actually remember stuff.

I suppose the good news is that I get to find out how poorly I did as early as Monday morning. Such great news, eh? And then I get to punch myself in the throat for doing so badly (even if I don't get a bad grade [which I will], I'd consider leaving everything until after the last minute 'doing badly'). :(

Yeah. So I came home at about 11pm after wasting time with my friends (who are in arts classes). I don't understand how they can put up with me. All I do is complain about my academic life when I'm around them. The fact that they have it so much easier doesn't help.

I need some new music to listen to. Anyone who is reading this, please give me some ideas of what I could download. Right now my playlist is really starting to irritate me. I will listen to anything that anyone suggests, the only exception is that I can reject it if I have heard of the group/person before (just so I don't get stuck with a lot of britney and christina). Seriously. Anything. Here is your chance to make me listen to a recording of your brothers punk garage band, or tibetan monk chanting, or your favorite song. I need music suggestions.

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Thursday, February 21st, 2002
5:38 pm - Can't my friends just all get along?
Haha. I thought this was funny. It's a screenshot from my 'Friends' page.



I noticed only after uploading it that it was kinda small and blurry. I will explain. The top post there (I'm sure you can read the large letters). And then the post beneath it is titled "FOUR MORE QUIZZES!!!!!!(with a path to *millions* more).

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3:31 am - bling bling
My scholarships I received from my university have already paid for all of my courses, textbooks, fees, etc. Yet, for some reason, they feel the need to give me more money. Not that I'm complaining, hehe. I got a letter in the mail the other day saying that they are crediting my account with another $300. That puts my total scholarship amount at more than $500 of what I needed for a full year of university. I feel so happy.

I am hoping to get a job as a marker for one or two classes next year. They get paid decently, it's not much work, and it will help me keep on top of some first year material if I'm forced to mark a lot of assignments, labs, etc. I'm already starting to dread the MCAT, because in 2 years I will have to relearn all of the first year stuff that I have already begun to forget.

Yeah. I've been crazy busy with midterms lately. Physics was alright today (only because I studied with people for about 15 hours yesterday.) Calc is coming up. Chem on Friday night. I got 75% on the bio midterm :(. It's not good, but, it's recoverable from. Another essay due on tuesday. Scary scary lots of work.

I want to be an arts student. I began my first essay for my English class the day that it was due. I didn't spend a lot of time on it. It was a piece of shit, but I somehow got a B+. She even commented on the fact that it was horrible. There were so many things that she found wrong with it, and I still got a B+. I honestly don't know how someone could get a C or less in that class. Arts 4 Life.

Anywho, its 3:30am. I should get to bed.

current mood: headache

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Monday, February 18th, 2002
4:01 am - "Why haven't they invented this" part 103
I want to play this game so badly, now that I've thought of it. Okay. Here's how it would work.

There would be a hundred or so 'treasures' (for lack of a better term) hidden around the country. And people could go out and buy some little device that maybe gives hints as to where one of these caches is hidden, or maybe is like a cheap global positioning device, or something clever like that. Maybe the people would have to watch a tv show to get some kind of hint, too. Yeah. That would work.

Anywho. One of the locations would have the 'grand prize' of $100000 or something. The others would have decent prizes. The whole idea is, make it a game show where every citizen of a country could be a contestant. Or maybe the whole world. Or, a few countries. Encourage international tourism, etc. My description of this sucks, but it is so freakin' awesome how I have it in my head right now.

I got the idea (ok, ok, "stole" the idea) from geocaching.com. Except, their version sucks, and you have to have a $100 - $2000+ GPS system. If only I had billions of dollars to get this off the ground. This could be the next big thing to sweep the world. Move over Ricky Martin and 'the pet rock'.

current mood: no-sleep high

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Saturday, February 16th, 2002
7:32 pm - If only...


Made by: gothichic666 and ecology

The five possibilities were: Japanese, Italian, Irish (*hiccup*), African, and American (thank god I'm not American I"M JUST KIDDING PLEASE DON'T BOMB ME)

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3:27 am - ur a dyke LOL :_(
Okay. This is probably normal, but I will explain. When I write an essay, I put in stupid little reminders, and place-holders, so that I can finish off a current train of thought, and then come back to something else later and not forget. Or, to take up space so I can judge how long my work is going to be. I also print off two or three copies as I go because it helps me catch mistakes and whatnot. All is fine and good.

Until today. I was cleaning out my clipboard today and trying to organize my notes (which were all previously in one giant pile [both this terms and lasts]). And what do I find? That's right. My essay that was due last week. The essay I thought I handed in last week. The good copy.

The only copy that I didn't find? Well, let's just say that it will be interesting when I get it back. I wrote about a topic in John Updike's 'A&P'. (And it should be noted that my english class is so very very full of lesbians). My place-holder title on this garbage essay was "Up-dyke it out: 2k2". Childish, maybe. Stupid, for sure.

All I can do now is either laugh, or cry. And I will choose to laugh... having cried myself out about 2 hours ago.

current mood: stupid

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